Sunday, November 21, 2010

Ok, Michele, this one's for you...

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession...a confession that could very well blacklist me from mom's groups across the globe...a confession that may cause those I know to gasp in exasperation, to sigh from disappointment and/or to never look at me in quite the same light. 

But I must admit it. I loathe...I detest...dare I say the "H" word...I HATE selling girl scout cookies! 

There, I said it. It's out there for EVERYONE to know. Everyone who has said "Wow, Tracey, how do you do it all?" Or the crazy people who ask me "Is there anything you DON'T do?" may think differently of me now. 

Good LORD, I abhor the task of going door to door, asking people (who I do not know) for money (that many do not want to spend) on cookies (that are too expensive), even after they have been asked (a million and one other times) by the (hundreds) of other kids in the neighborhood.

I mean, hell, our next store neighbor had the cookies sold BEFORE THE SALE BEGAN! She's out there, decked out in her girl scout green - and I mean, ALL green - the vest, the hat, the skirt, the socks, for God sakes - and she's out there. She probably wins a freakin' CAR based on her cookie sales. 

My girls? NOT-A-ONE! And mind you, they HATE this. They HATE it that I absolutely would rather eat anything in this world (even oatmeal, Natalie) ;) than go out and sell cookies. 

Come on, really? SELL COOKIES??? Hasnt the Girl Scouts of America gotten the "healthy" bug yet? Can't they rid themselves of this horrible tradition yet? 

And, I came to find out today, that Keely, in a recent Brownies meeting, stood up and very annoyingly told her ENTIRE troop - in front of the leaders, of course - that she hadn't sold ONE box. 

Sorry, Kee.

What's even more sad? When we got our "GOAL SHEET" last week, it encouraged each child to try her best to increase her sales by 10%. 

Guess what that meant for the English family? It meant that THIS year, we should do our "GIRL SCOUT BEST" to sell....11....11 damn boxes of cookies. 

I mean, even I think that's sad. 

And it's not that I don't support the Girl Scouts of America. Because I do. I love that my girls are active members, they look forward to their weeklong summer camp every year, their leaders are WONDERFUL and they truly love being a part of the organization.

I am happy to support it in whatever way I long as that doesn't mean selling cookies. Who the heck has the time? Can't I just write a check?

So there. I've admitted it. I'm not all that...just ask the girls. They'll tell you how bummed they are that I won't head out with them (and Connor and Libby) on this mission. 

But I promise...

On my honor, I will try

To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law. 

But wait...does living by the Girl Scout Law require me to sell cookies? If so, they sorry folks, this mama is OUT!!!!

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Tracey's bookshelf: read

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Girl Who Played with Fire
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
My Sister's Keeper
Nineteen Minutes
The Pact
The Tenth Circle
Change of Heart
Keeping Faith
Handle with Care
House Rules
More Than It Hurts You
Amy and Isabelle
A Prayer for Owen Meany
A Widow for One Year
The 158-Pound Marriage
To the Lighthouse
Between the Acts
A Room of One's Own, and Three Guineas
The Help

Tracey English's favorite books »