My daughter would kill me if she knew I was posting this for all to see, but owell. I'm the mom and therefore I can do it.
Abby wants to break her leg. There are no two ways about it. She wants me or Chris to physically BREAK her leg so she can wear a cast. She has been envious of Chris for three weeks now - which is when he so wonderfully mastered the "how to sprain your ankle so badly that it repulses people to look at it" while playing basketball with his other not-so-young guy friends.
Suffice it to say, basketball is out of the picture for awhile.
But back to Abby. She watched Chris, who writhed in pain when he came home from above-mentioned basketball game, and was green - GREEN - with envy as she realized her dad GOT TO USE crutches and GOT TO WEAR a brace.
"Why couldn't that be me?" she asked.
"WHAT?? ARE YOU INSANE???" was, of course, my reaction.
But what do I know?
Alas, I must admit, when I was in 4th grade at St. Hugo School in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, I. too, yearned to break something. My aspirations weren't as lofty as Abby's - I mean, I can't wrap my own leg to look as if it's in a cast, but I CAN "break" my arm. Piece of cake.
So one day, I took it upon myself to sneak an ace bandage out of the house, and, unknown to mom or dad, got it to school, just in time to race to the bathroom and "wrap" it to look as if I had indeed broken it.
The other girl was getting so much attention...why couldn't I?
Sadly, I believe it took all of five minutes before Sister took me aside and asked me what had happened to my arm.
She was a nun, for God sakes, I couldn't lie to her. ;)
And so my moment in the limelight was over.
So I do get it. Really I do. But Abby is obsessed. So much so that after a fall this weekend, she is walking with a self-inducing limp. Oh yes, because by GOD, if she can't break that leg, and by GOD, if her parents won't break it for her, then she's gonna milk a cut on her knee for all it's worth.
Chris, on a good note, is mending well. Two weeks of physical therapy will do that. Thank goodness too. I think that after this recent run in with a fellow basketball player. IM the one who is gonna need some therapy - of some kind.
In fact, as I type this, I feel an ache coming on...maybe I've broken something...maybe I need some crutches or something....oh yes, I definitely need some help.
Maybe Abby will look at me, green with envy, too. Wouldn't that be a crackup? :)
And in case Abby ever reads this entry: "I love you and I'm not laughing AT you. I'm just laughing."